Reevaluating My Own Faith

In my own life I have experienced both a religious overtone and secular ones as well. From the young age of three I was put into a catholic school (pre-k at that point) and for the next nine years of my life I was educated in a religious setting.

Then came middle school.

I was surrounded by the idea of a public school system where religion was considered a taboo subject unless all religions were given equal time and none were forced on anyone else in any remote way. There was swearing, bad behavior, and sub par standards in academics. This atmosphere did not improve much as I continued through high school.

I attended CCD instructions with the public school kids who said that I "should be in religion excel". The CCD classes were boring. I had learned all of the values they were teaching along with all the excersises in 3rd or 4th grade. At the time, I seemed to have a better sense of morals than the rest of my fellow classmates.

After I was confirmed, I continued going to church every week with my family. But I felt more and more distant each week that went by. I was becoming more secular in my thinking. I realized that there were other ideas of morals and beliefs that were legitimate. By the time I was in college, I had stopped going to church altogether.

At this point in my life I was confused about where I should go with my beliefs. So, I started to reevaluate my morals. I ended up revising a large chunk of beliefs that I have that my church may not.

Recently, I have returned to church. This time I am giving myself a way to feel more connected to it. I sing in the choir. I have felt as though my emotional and spiritual being is more attentive and is rewared during the masses I sing in.

Overall, I feel that my experience in both public and private schooling has provided me with a balence in my spiritual and worldly sides of myself. Due to this balence, I have been able to form my own moral code to live by and have a real genuine faith in.

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